Jail Story Beginnings
Updated: Feb 2
You found me! Well, technically you found my blog. Am I a blogger? Ummm no. Isn't it funny how God takes what we know we are NOT in our lives and creates a space for us in which we become? Let me put down the coffee to explain.
Hey there lovelies, daughters, sisters. My name is Emily-Anne, just a 20 something year old (OK crap. I am in my 30's but I still live in my 20s so this will be the only time I tell you my age, got it?) ennegram 3w2 mom, wife, retired pre-trial release officer (yes I spent 11 years working with inmates at the local jail) and now a teen dating and domestic violence speaker.
And now a writer. Blogger.
Nancy Drew, Harriet the Spy, The Hardy Boys, and Louis Lane-from Superman-set my path before me growing up. To my mother's fear, my career was determined at a young age: homicide detective.
"That's so weird Emily-Anne."
Yeah well somebody's gotta do it. But I also had a second love: writing. With that, I decided Louis Lane was who I would become-investigating crimes and writing about it in a newspaper. Just not dating Superman. Obviously.
So it's kind of funny, 20ish years later, how I am now a writer. Oh yes, I dropped the dream of being detective.
After having 2 kids, I decided the hours and dangers of police work was not for me anymore and worked comfortably as "the good guy" to inmates in the jail. (Dang that was a fun job!)
But the writing came from the speaking. And the speaking came from jail.
During my first full year in the jail, while discussing a domestic violence case, conversation somehow ended 3 hours later with my colleague and I talking about my own story. Snot, tears, heavy breathing sniffles and all, she told me:
"You have a story to tell. You've got to share this with people."
In that cement block square of an office, I didn't know what it meant for myself at the time. I was too scared. Too frightened of what others would think. I was as opposite as bold as you could get.
But I was listening.
God was with us in our office that day down in building 2 of the detention facility. He spoke life into me through my tear-filled coworker friend.
Before I knew it, I was being recorded by the media in our police department, sharing my story as a local artist painted me (yeah that's another story) to play on repeat my abuse from high school to the local TV station.
From behind that is. I wouldn't show my face.
I wasn't who I am now.
I was Anna Banks.
Anna hid me. She was my safe place in case they found out. She was who I could find my new identity in as I was finally venturing out to tell my story in public to strangers.
What if I speak out to a crowd and they are in the audience? Or see it on TV and recognize my hair, my voice? That couldn't happen.
Hands shaking, voice quivering, there is only one place I found my strength to stand up and talk about my abuser.
God was calling me to something he was creating a space for me to become.
Broken to beautiful
Beauty from ashes.
Victim to Victorious.
I found my true identity again. I became Emily. Then Emily-Anne. Then full on Emily-Anne Buck. Eventually. This took years.
In biblical times, it wasn't unusual for God to grant his children a new name.
Abram and Sarai's names changed when God made a covenant concerning their future.
Jacob's name was changed to Israel reflecting him overcoming many struggles.
Peter was once Simon.
Now, my God certainly didn't grant me my name. I've been Emily Anne since birth. (My mom did add the hyphen later for all the peeps dropping the Anne. Hey us southerners take double names pretty seriously.)
But what the Bible tells me about name changes is that God has plans for my future. A specific and unique work for me to do. A name was changed to reflect new beginnings, away from a hurting past and into a future life that is bright living for Him.
So hey...my name is Emily-Anne Buck and I am SO very thankful you have stopped by, to be a part of the beginnings of this blog to help reach women that need to know their new identity in Christ from past abuses.
If you are BROKEN.
If you are Ashes.
If you are Victim.
Come back. I long to tell you your new name:
"The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2nd Corinthians 5:17